August 29, 2023

How Counseling Can Help You Overcome Perfectionism

It’s not uncommon to want to strive for excellence. But when the desire for perfection becomes an obsession, it can cause a ton of frustration, overwhelm, anxiety, and even depression. This intense pursuit of perfection is known as perfectionism, and if you’re grappling with this habit, you’re not alone. It can be challenging to overcome, but help is at hand with a therapist in your corner.

The Trap of Perfectionism

Perfectionism isn’t just about setting high standards. It can turn into a consuming mindset where anything less than perfect feels like failure. This mindset often leads to chronic dissatisfaction—with oneself or others—more anxiety, and even feelings of depression. But why is it so hard to overcome perfectionism, when the negative effects are so…well…negative?

We can’t ignore the heavy role of societal expectations. We live in a highly competitive world that often rewards and encourages perfectionistic behaviors. And for many of us, perfectionism is deeply ingrained in our self-image—for some, the pursuit of perfection isn’t just a habit, but an integral part of their identity.

Another big reason is fear – fear of failure, fear of criticism, and fear of not being good enough. This fear keeps the cycle of perfectionism spinning because the fear of making a mistake often feels worse than the mistake itself—so we do whatever we can to avoid the fear, which often looks like pursuing perfection.

How Can Counseling Help Perfectionism?

At this point, you might be thinking, “This sounds like me, but how can a therapist?” Let’s explore some unique approaches that counseling can offer to help break the perfectionism habit.

1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a practical approach that helps you understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. As a therapist in Seattle, I’ve found that using CBT helps my clients identify and challenge the thoughts that fuel their perfectionism, and replace them with healthier and more balanced beliefs. This, in turn, helps them change how they think, feel, and act for the better.

2. Mindfulness Therapy: Mindfulness teaches you to be fully present and engaged in the moment, without judgment or a need to change the way things are. This approach can help break the cycle of perfectionism by helping you become more aware of your perfectionistic thoughts and feelings without needing to react to them. It’s also about creating a space to notice imperfections without feeling the need to fix them.

3. Exposure Therapy: Yes, it sounds scary—but it’s actually a very powerful tool for overcoming your fears, in a deliberate and controlled way! This method involves intentionally making mistakes or embracing imperfections in a safe, non-judgmental, appropriately-paced manner. Over time, this can help reduce the fear of making mistakes, helping you understand that it’s okay to be less than perfect and that you can handle whatever happens when perfection isn’t achieved.

4. Creative Therapies: Art, music, or drama therapies can offer unconventional avenues to explore perfectionism. Through these mediums, you can express feelings that might be hard to put into words. Plus, the inherent messiness of creativity can help you embrace the beauty of flaws, imperfections, or inconsistencies in your artwork.

5. Group Therapy: There’s power in knowing you’re not alone. Group therapy allows you to connect with others who are also dealing with perfectionism, fostering a supportive and non-judgmental environment. Sharing experiences and coping strategies can be immensely helpful.

Seeking Help

Perfectionism can be a difficult mindset to crack, but it’s not impossible. With the help of a therapist in Seattle, you can learn to manage this complex and often life-consuming way of thinking. Remember, seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a step towards creating a healthier relationship with yourself.

As a therapist in Seattle, I’m here to offer you a lifeline in this process. If you’re ready to take the first step, reach out. It’s never too late to swap perfection for contentment. And remember, it’s perfectly okay to be imperfect. After all, that’s what makes us human.

To learn more about counseling for perfectionism in Seattle, contact me for a free consultation to see if I’m the right fit for you. I can’t wait to hear from you!

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